“Depression” can be a scary word for men.
As Christian men, the word is often even more loaded. For many, it’s controversial, confusing, embarrassing, and sometimes even downright shameful.
If you know what I’m talking about, my hope is that a little bit of clarity will help.
I have no ambitions here to try to articulate a “silver bullet” for fixing depression. If you’re looking for one, I hate to break it to you—but unfortunately, it doesn’t really exist.
What I have learned from my work as a psychotherapist is that recovery from depression is an intentional and active process that requires support from others.
There’s no quick fix, but there is a playbook.
Recovery from depression is an intentional and active process that requires support from others.
Let’s start by clarifying what we’re talking about when we say “depression.”
What Is Depression?
Clinically, when we’re talking about depression, we’re actually describing a category of mental disorders that have a range of symptoms that impair life functioning.
In other words, there are many kinds of depression, and it often looks quite different from person to person.
Yet, common symptoms include persistent low mood, loss of interest or pleasure, unintended weight loss, decreased motivation, feelings of worthlessness, difficulties in concentration, sleeping problems, and suicidal ideation that persists for at least two weeks.
Research also tells us that, among men, this could look like increased interpersonal withdrawal, substance abuse, increased relational conflicts, self-destruction, over-investment in work, anger outbursts, and avoidance of seeking help.
First and foremost—if these symptoms resonate with you and you’ve been wrestling with them for a couple of weeks or more, it is crucial for you to meet with a mental health professional to talk about how you can move forward with some help.
Yet, as Christians, you’ll also be able to recognize that many of these symptoms can be found among heroic men within the biblical narrative. These include guys from Job (Job 30:16-22) to Elijah (1 Kings 19:4), and from David (Psalm 31:9-24) to Paul (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).
More importantly, we can see that these symptoms aren’t foreign to our Lord Jesus, who, as Isaiah prophesied, would be the “man of sorrows,” well acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3).
Here’s the deal: if you’re depressed, you are not alone, even if it feels like it. There is a way out, but you will need support from others and some practical strategies.
What Does Research Say Can Help Depression?
Generally, what we know about depression is that its causes can be biological, psychological, and/or social in nature. This tells us that, depending on the individual, recovering from depression would also require biological (e.g., medication), psychological (e.g., psychotherapy), and/or social (e.g., relationship-building) interventions.
Qualified mental health professionals are trained to help you discern what would benefit you the most.
While what I’m about to share with you is in no way intended to replace professional support, recent large-scale research studies point to some key changes that are important to the recovery process. I’ve selected three that I hope will give you some food for thought.
Building Social Support
In a 2023 study, researchers followed a sample of more than 5,000 men over 7 years. They found that lack of social support is both a cause and a consequence of depression. In other words, men who are feeling lonely are more likely to fall into depression, and when they’re depressed, they’re also more likely to isolate themselves, which worsens the symptoms. So, building relationships where we feel deeply supported is an essential step in recovering from depression.
Strengthening a Sense of Purpose
Another key piece of recovering from depression is cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning in life. A 2023 meta-analysis of 99 different studies found that “purpose in life” was significantly connected to fighting depression, as it reduces the avoidance tendencies (e.g., withdrawal) that often sustain depression. This tells us that a strong sense of purpose in life may protect folks from depressive episodes and that increasing people’s sense of purpose may reduce some of those depression symptoms.
Behavioral Activation
Finally, one of the most well-researched strategies for treating depression is behavioral activation.
Essentially, this strategy aims to increase people’s engagement in healthy activities that bring a sense of reward, pleasure, and mastery through steps like activity scheduling. As simple as this sounds, recent research strongly supports that this strategy makes a difference. There is something about taking action by engaging in enjoyable, rewarding activities—even when we don’t feel like it—that helps.
What To Make of This as Followers of Jesus?
Now, these are only three of the many empirically supported treatment strategies that we often use in counseling to help those who are struggling with depression.
I’ve highlighted these three specific tactics, though, because they point to an important aspect of the Christian life that helps to draw us out of our experiences of depression.
In Psalm 40:12, David writes:
“For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me.”
Honestly, I couldn’t find better words to describe an experience of depression. From not being able to see, to the failure of the heart, this verse almost perfectly captures the essence of what depression feels like.
Yet, four verses later, David writes in Psalm 40:16:
“But may all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You.”
David is expressing a powerful insight here.
There’s something about seeking the Lord that brings us joy that transcends our depression. After all, the pursuit of God through worship, prayer, fellowship with the saints, and service is what we were born again as believers to do.
It’s in this very pursuit that we can find the social support, purpose, and meaningful activity that the research points to as critical to recovering from depression.
While I am in no way suggesting that depression is caused by not pursuing God enough, I propose that a passionate pursuit of Jesus that is active, purposeful, and connected to fellow believers is a pathway for escaping the darkness of depression.
John 1:4-5 tells us that in Jesus, there is life, and this life is the light of men. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
If you’re feeling stuck in the darkness, I pray that you are stirred today to pursue the Light and to follow the narrow path to the fullness of life.
If you or someone you care about is suffering from depression, please consider a mental health professional. Psychology Today is a great resource that can help you find a therapist!
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