Whenever the New Testament uses the word “repent” in English, it comes from the Greek word metanoia. The NIV Exhaustive Concordance Dictionary defines metanoia as “to change any or all of the elements composing one’s life: attitude, thoughts, and behaviors concerning the demands of God for right living.”
It is a common Christian word, and as men, we know we need to engage in it.
But there are two essential things that we need to remember that will help us in our journey of repentance.
1. Repentance is a choice, not a feeling.
As men, our loves/desires need to be reordered.
We are fallen and have a natural bent toward sin. Perhaps one of the most famous repentance passages is Psalm 51:1-19, when David returns to the Lord after his great sin. David says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me…Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Ps 51:10; v.12).
The implication is that David does not have a pure heart or a willing spirit and needs God to create both.
Notice that the new heart comes after repentance, not before.
We cannot fake transformation; the Lord alone has the power to change a man’s yearnings. David acknowledges his sin, confesses and asks for forgiveness, and only after that will heart change follow.
This is actually good news. Biblical repentance is an intentional act of the will in response to God’s truth. It’s not primarily driven by emotions or a deep sense of guilt or remorse.
It’s something we are called to do in obedience to God’s word and in light of His holiness.
We are told to “set your heart and your soul to seek the LORD your God” (1 Chronicles 22:19). Most men I know are “fixers” who like to view problems logically so that they can address them head-on. Learning to see that repentance begins in the mind empowers men to respond even if they don’t “feel” anything.
Honestly, sometimes we don’t feel bad about our sin. We recognize it’s wrong and see how it’s ruining our lives. We acknowledge that God’s standard calls us to live differently and that we need to change our ways.
Still, if you’re waiting until you “feel bad” about sin before you turn to the Lord, you may be waiting for a while, and you may find yourself spiralling deeper into the clutches of sin.
The truth is that sin feels good and preys on our feelings. It lies to men and makes us false promises. That’s how we get trapped; we enjoy sin, so we stop seeing it as evil. We cease to treat sin as our enemy, forgetting it ultimately leads to death.
While it’s true that we will have times of great brokenness over our sin, true repentance is an act of the will: an intentional turning away from sin and turning towards God, not because we necessarily feel bad, but because God is good and His ways are better than ours.
Like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32, if we are going to return to the Father, we must first “come to our senses.” Repentance, therefore, is a choice, not a feeling.
Repentance can begin more from a commitment to God than a hatred of sin. When men turn away from worldly pleasures and turn towards the Lord, we are saying we trust His ways are better and choose to obey even if our hearts desire lesser loves.
So don’t wait until you “feel it” to get right with God. Turn to Him today.
2. Repentance is a process, not a singular event.
While Christ’s victory over sin and death on the Cross was indeed a single event, a man’s sanctification (the process of becoming more and more like Jesus) will be an ongoing work until the Lord returns.
Repentance is not a moment of confession when you “say sorry” to God—that’s only one aspect of repentance. True repentance is intentionally reorienting your whole life away from things that bring death, and instead moving towards the Lord. It’s the process of choosing God daily.
Time and again, Scripture presents men with a choice that calls us to action: “See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to Him, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws…I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live” (Deuteronomy 30:15-16; v. 19).
The apostle Paul says it this way: “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6-7).
We have received Christ as Lord, but the call to “continue to live in Him” is ours. Hebrews 12:1 commands us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.”
True repentance is setting your whole life in alignment with the Word of God and putting to death “the misdeeds of your flesh” (Romans 8:13).
In our efforts to live for God and to align our lives with His truth, men will have moments of weakness. You will fall short at times, as all repentance is imperfect, for we are imperfect.
But rest in the peace that God has made a provision for our weakness and that “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23).
So don’t beat yourself up when you fail; choose to return to the Lord, trusting that He will sustain you while He transforms you.
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