For the Single Man

In Articles, Family, Masculinity, Spiritual Growth by Kerby Stivene

Yes, single brothers, this message is for you.

Whether you haven’t married or are single again, this article is dedicated to you. Rest assured, we have not overlooked you or forgotten you. You are not alone; these words are for you.

When addressing men, you may have noticed that much of the content often focuses on men as husbands and/or fathers, which can leave our single brothers feeling left out. However, we want to ensure you that single men are seen and appreciated. Your singleness holds significance, whether it’s a choice, a consequence, or a season of preparation for future marriage.

I want you to know that you are not forgotten, and whatever you are experiencing right now is valid. You don’t need to feel despair or inadequacy. You are whole as you are.

Your singleness holds significance, whether it’s a choice, a consequence, or a season of preparation for future marriage.

It can vary depending on the environment you grew up in, but chances are, you’ve heard the common narrative that to be a “real man,” you must reach the age of majority, you need to have a car, a wife, a house, a few kids, and a career or business that brings in a certain amount of money. Our Western society paints a picture of manhood success as having the perfect house, the white picket fence, the amazing wife, and the ideal family.

But I want to make something clear: what society says about us or expects of us does not determine our worth or our identity as a man.

What truly matters is what the Word of God says about you. The Bible is our guide, and everything we need to know about life and manhood is found in its pages. Whether married or single, we can turn to Scripture for encouragement, reassurance, and confirmation of who we are in Christ.

What society says about us or expects of us does not determine our worth or our identity as a man.

We are blessed to have the Scriptures, which allow us to reflect on what God says about singleness and manhood.

So, what does the Bible say about single men?

In 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, Paul writes a letter to the church in Corinth addressing the unmarried status of individuals in the congregation. In verse 26, Paul says, “Because of the present crisis, I think it is good for a man to remain as he is,”—referring to staying unmarried or not actively seeking marriage.

In verse 27, he continues, “Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.”

For the single men reading this, don’t misunderstand Paul’s words. He is not saying that marriage is wrong or that you should avoid it. But if you are not committed to a woman right now, Paul is advising you not to be consumed by the pursuit of finding a wife.

Instead, he challenges single men to focus on something far more important: the Lord’s affairs.

In verse 32, Paul writes, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” Paul contrasts this with a married man, who serves the Lord but is also distracted and concerned with the affairs of the world and how to please his wife.

This is crucial to understand. Being single does not mean you’re idle or incomplete. On the contrary, it means you have a unique opportunity to focus on how you can serve the Lord and grow His Kingdom. Your singleness gives you time and space to draw closer to God, to be involved in His work, and to grow spiritually. As you seek Him, God will meet you in your singleness in a way that is unique and unavailable to the married man.

A man is complete, not because he is married, but because the Lord completes him.

So, the question is: What are you focusing on as a single man? Are you preoccupied with finding a wife? While that is not a sin, and there’s nothing wrong with seeking marriage, is your primary focus on God’s affairs? Are you using this time to deepen your relationship with the Lord, to serve Him, and to seek ways to advance His Kingdom?

Ask yourself these questions and consider how your singleness can be a powerful season of growth, service, and communion with God.

About
Kerby Stivene
Kerby is the proud husband of Marie and father to three children. He has served as the Sr. High Student & Young Adults Pastor at Bethel Church in Sarnia since 2020 and is a Certified Speaker, Coach, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team. Kerby is passionate about training and equipping the next generation of youth, young adults, and men, igniting a fire in them to live and lead their lives for the cause of Jesus and His Kingdom.
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Kerby Stivene
Kerby is the proud husband of Marie and father to three children. He has served as the Sr. High Student & Young Adults Pastor at Bethel Church in Sarnia since 2020 and is a Certified Speaker, Coach, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team. Kerby is passionate about training and equipping the next generation of youth, young adults, and men, igniting a fire in them to live and lead their lives for the cause of Jesus and His Kingdom.