Forgiveness.
It’s a word we hear almost daily within Christian circles. It is undoubtedly one of the foundational principles that form the bedrock of our faith and is something all Christians have been beneficiaries of.
It is easy to understand that forgiveness is part of the territory of being a follower of Jesus. We are, after all, members of the family of God because of His forgiveness. Had it not been for God’s unmerited grace and favor, for Christ’s blood shed for the remission of our sins, we would not be free to stand unashamed before the presence of a holy God. We would all still be damned in our guilt and bound by the chains of sin (Colossians 1:13-14).
If God had not decided to forgive us, we would be trapped and destined for an eternity of suffering. Instead of joy and hope, our days would be filled with dread and despair. Instead of living for God, our days would be wasted in deep existential crisis (Psalm 103:10-12).
The truth is that forgiveness is one of the mightiest forces in the universe.
It has the power to turn God’s enemies into His children. It can set even the most bound captives free. It can turn the apathetic into the most impassioned worshiper.
The truth is that forgiveness is one of the mightiest forces in the universe.
Biblical forgiveness is not the antithesis of divine judgment; it is the purest expression of it. It weighs, measures, and finds wanting—and still offers grace (2 Corinthians 5:17-18).
Forgiveness is, therefore, a catalyst for worship. It strips us of all our pride and fills us with awe and wonder for God. It dismisses all sense of entitlement and leaves us humble and full of gratitude (Psalm 51:17).
When God forgives us for all we have done, He doesn’t sweep our transgressions under the rug as if we did not commit them. Instead, He places them upon Jesus on the Cross (1 Peter 2:24).
It’s not that our sins go unpunished. It’s that we go unpunished.
God could have treated us according to what our sins deserved but chose instead to treat us according to what His Son deserved. He could have left us in our guilt but chose instead to wrap us in His love (Isaiah 53:5).
It’s not that our sins go unpunished. It’s that we go unpunished.
Because of this immense gift of grace, Jesus calls us to show mercy to others. He instructs us to extend to them that same forgiveness we ourselves have received (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiving others is not a suggestion in the Bible; it’s a command. It’s the expected behavior of the redeemed (Matthew 6:14-15).
But this isn’t always easy to do.
In fact, I would argue that without the help of the Holy Spirit, this is often impossible to do (Romans 8:26; Philippians 4:13).
This is because not all sorrows are harmless. Not all pains are superficial. Sometimes, the wounds others inflict on us cut so deeply that to forgive feels like self-betrayal. It feels like we’re giving up a part of ourselves on top of what they already took from us.
I would also suggest that men find this particularly challenging for two reasons.
First, respect means everything to us. We do not take offenses lightly nor treat infringements frivolously. Much of our identity and self-esteem is wrapped up in how we are viewed and treated. We get a sense of worth from having a good public witness. So, when someone disrespects us, it has an added layer of insult and complexity that tends to resonate at a deeper level. They didn’t just attack us; they attacked our worth and our pride. This is not easy for most men to overlook.
Secondly, and perhaps what makes forgiving others most difficult, is that men are perceived and portrayed as defenders and protectors. We need to feel strong and be seen as capable. This pressure to be tough and resilient often causes men to be guarded. We struggle to be vulnerable. We don’t want ourselves to be seen as frail or weak.
When others wound us, we can feel powerless, as if they got through our rugged exterior. The fact that someone else was able to inflict harm upon us tends to make men angry and sometimes even ashamed.
This can produce an overcorrection. We think, “I’ll never let them hurt me again.” We build up even more walls and distance ourselves further from others, not only from those who hurt us but from anyone in general, so that we never risk being hurt again.
I think much of this stems from a misunderstanding of what “forgiveness” is.
We tend to think that when Jesus calls us to forgive others, He is asking us to expose ourselves to additional harm. We may be tempted to think that forgiveness means the attackers win, or that we make ourselves look weak, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Remember, God forgives. He never loses, nor can we ever accuse Him of being weak. When Jesus calls us to forgive others, He simultaneously calls us to rest in Him and receive and rely on His strength (Matthew 11:28-29).
Forgiveness is a comma, not a period. It allows our story to continue without letting pain have the last word.
And when we forgive others, we set them and ourselves free from the chains of embarrassment and resentment that would otherwise dominate our stories.
When we choose to forgive others, we leave room for the story to continue and not end in pain. We are giving them an opportunity to grow and giving ourselves permission to heal (Romans 12:19-21).
Forgiveness is a comma, not a period.
We strip anger, bitterness, and fear of their power to define and change us. By forgiving others, we deny those wounds the power to steal from us our very identity (Ephesians 4:31-32).
We will either be defined by our pain or by our Savior. We will either be changed by our wounds or transformed by His.
The command to forgive others is an invitation to be free, to see a comma where the enemy would love to leave a period.
May the Lord grant you the grace to forgive others today.
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