Last summer, I was teaching my youngest son to dive into the pool. He was more than happy to jump in, perform a splash bomb or step in at the shallow end.
But to dive in at the deep end, that was another story.
I watched him curl his toes around the edge of the diving board, bend his knees, put his arms in the air and join his hands. He looked ready, but he was not ready. As the reality of this moment set in, his body was gripped by fear, and he started to tremble. He was paralyzed with terror, and now he was completely stuck.
I shouted out to him to ask what was wrong, and he shouted back, “Dad, I’m afraid.” I shouted back across the pool to him, “Well, just do it anyway!” To my complete surprise, he did. He acknowledged the fear, and then with a little bit of encouragement, he dove in.
We Need To Talk About Fear
There are so many fear-filled moments for us as men.
For those of us who are dads, we know all about fear. Fear for our kids, as their world changes, and we gaze into the craziness of their futures. Fear with our kids, as we consider the responsibility of raising children. And fear from our kids – we are afraid they will reject us, forget us, or even hate us. Parenting is a fear-filled space.
What about fear in our marriages, in our friendships and careers?
The fear of failure? The fear of rejection? The fear of being found out?
It’s probably not a macho thing to talk honestly about fear, but it is a Christian thing. Fear is real. It shapes our lives, our decision-making, our faithfulness, and our witness.
It’s probably not a macho thing to talk honestly about fear, but it is a Christian thing. Fear is real. It shapes our lives, our decision-making, our faithfulness, and our witness.
Fear was as real for a young Christian pastor called Timothy, standing in front of an intimidating congregation of powerful and influential families in the ancient city of Ephesus, as it was for my son standing on the edge of the diving board. Timothy was a nobody in a city where name, education, and standing was everything. Many in his church were better orators, strategists and leaders. Many had more sway and more say in the halls of politics in one of the empire’s leading metropolis. Timothy was fearful, which is a nice way of saying he was full of fear!
It is in this moment that a timely word of encouragement comes from his mentor and pastor, his spiritual father and friend, Paul the Apostle. This reminder in 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” – served to strip away a lie that Timothy was believing and replace it with a truth that the young leader needed to embrace.
Strip Away The Lie
First, if you are struggling with fear, there is an untruth that needs to be addressed. The fear that Timothy had was not a godly fear. It was not that reverent fear that is awakened in us when we come into the presence of God and become aware of his majesty. Know the difference between the fear of God and the fear of men. This is a critical discipleship challenge for all Jesus-followers.
Replace The Lie With The Truth
Second, this verse in 2 Timothy teaches us what the Spirit does in response to our fear: It equips us to move forward.
God’s Spirit is a powerful Spirit. This greek word, dunamis, from where we arrive at words like dynamic and dynamite, gives us a clue as to what Paul is saying. The Holy Spirit in us creates movement and change. And not just in us, but through us.
God’s Spirit is a loving Spirit. It equips us to be comforted in our human fears and to comfort others in theirs.
God’s Spirit is one of self-control or self-discipline. In emotionally-charged environments, God equips us to be able to think straight, keep our cool and remain true to our calling as a people who will be quick to listen and slow to speak.
This is a word that was relevant to a young pastor in a large urban city, pastoring a people who caused him so much fear that his body was becoming sick. Some of us know that level of stress. It is also a good word to those of us living in a time of political and social upheaval, pandemics and social media. We are fully equipped by God’s Spirit for our calling to this moment in history. But we must know the difference between the fear of God and the fear of men. We must invite God’s transforming Spirit to change us and the world, to help us love, and to keep our heads when all around are losing theirs.
We must invite God’s transforming Spirit to change us and the world, to help us love, and to keep our heads when all around are losing theirs.
Acknowledge the fear, but don’t let the fear stop you moving forward. Instead, recognize that God himself lives inside of you and the tools he has equipped you with – power, love and self-control – are greater than the one tool the enemy has to use against you: fear.
When fear fills your heart, and you are trembling at the knees, it’s time to “just do it anyway!”
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