The level of devastation depends on who you ask.
Covenant Eyes will tell you the number is 64%. Pure Desire Ministries says 68%. Either way, it’s devastating.
This is the number of Christian men who view pornography at least once a month.
The biggest porn site in the world says that up to 35% of its members are women, so they’re in this game as well.
Worryingly, only 7% of churches claim to have programs addressing pornography.
The tipping point for pornography occurred long ago. It took over society with hurricane force and didn’t stop outside the church doors. Here we are, two decades after the web started, making porn more available, hardcore, and private than ever – and churches may not have caught wind of the destruction.
Or have they? In my opinion, the Church relating to porn is a lot like the Israelite army. They knew Goliath was big, strong, and scary. They knew the damage he would cause. But they were too terrified to step onto the battlefield, maybe too concerned with eating their bread and cheese.
I love the Church. I defend Christian radio stations and strongly disagree when people claim that churches aren’t helpful. I’m the son of a pastor (and grandson, nephew, and son-in-law of pastors, for that matter.) It pains me to point out an error in the Church – but this is too important a matter to stay silent.
Here are three reasons we need to talk about porn in the Church.
1. The world talks about it
Sex is the gift that God gave us to confirm our covenantal earthly relationship that most closely mirrors His relationship with us. We all agree that sex is a gift from God. And yet, while the world screams perversion of this gift, many churches are silent on its benefits.
We all agree that sex is a gift from God. And yet, while the world screams perversion of this gift, many churches are silent on its benefits.
Why are we afraid to talk about a gift God gave us? Too rare are the sermons dedicated to God’s beautiful design for sex. There’s plenty of material there – from the beauty of covenant, to how He designed us biologically for monogamy, to the positive economic impact created by a godly sex life.
Let’s do the necessary research and be the change we want to see in the world.
2. Porn cripples our effectiveness
Porn use rewires our brains to default to depression, anger, and loneliness, among other things. It kills our self-esteem and fills our hearts with shame. We aren’t thinking of praying for that person on the street when we’re clouded with thoughts of guilt from the night before. It tears apart marriages, whether they end in divorce or not, and creates instability in the homes kids grow up in when their Christian parents have mediocre relationships.
We need to provide motivation and support for people to overcome addictions to porn.
3. Jesus talked about it
Pornography comes from the word porneia. Jesus used it in Matthew 5. The same chapter that talks about oaths, anger, loving our enemies, and more. He didn’t then put brackets around the verses about lust and instruct us to only talk about it privately and/or when comfortable. He talked about it like he talked about any other topic, and we need to follow his lead.
What Can We Do?
First, if you’re a leader in the church, Jesus is equipping you to be current with what is affecting your flock. Do the research necessary to speak about porn in your church. I have seen seniors ecstatic when their pastor talked about porn even though it was never their struggle. Those in need will be encouraged to talk about their struggle, and those not involved with porn will become informed so they can better help their friend in need.
Second, use ministries who address this issue. There are many. Pure Desire Ministries has resources for those who struggle as well as for those married to someone with a porn addiction. I am with Restored Ministries and offer resources, personal coaching, and online programs that you can point people to.
Additional Resources:
- To conquer porn, fantasies, or other sexual vices, you can join Restored Ministries’ Pure Freedom Journey. You’ll get weekly teaching, a community of guys, and interaction with the trainers. More info is at restoredministries.ca/purefreedom.
- Every Saturday from now until December 5, you can learn from high-level Christian speakers on a variety of topics related to sex and porn. Learn more about the Porneia Webinar Series at restoredministries.ca/porneia.
- You can register for 1-on-1 coaching to conquer your struggle with porn at restoredministries.ca/personalcoaching.
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