Have you ever tried to balance several plates on your arms or head?
I have, and it does not end well.
Balance in life seems to be elusive for most leaders and men. Almost every man indicates a desire to find a healthier balance in life, but we feel caught between the demands of multiple worlds. Your work demands more, your family needs more, and your church asks for more.
You don’t want to disappoint anyone, but something inside you feels like you are. Is there a way to find a healthy balance before you crash and burn?
Identify What Is Healthy
Creating a healthy balance begins with identifying the healthy and essential things in life. Everything else should be secondary.
Healthy begins with Jesus (Colossians 1:17).
If Jesus is the way to find rest for our souls, maybe we should consider what Jesus prioritizes and surround ourselves with those things. By the way—work, family, and church all fit in here. But so do many other things, including friendships, rest, serving, church, and caring for our health.
Rhythms Instead of Balance
Balancing day-to-day and week-to-week is a myth. Ask any accountant what a healthy balance looks like from January to April. Balance assumes you can give fair distribution to caring for yourself and all other life responsibilities within the same day or week.
However, God did not create balance—He created rhythms.
Work six days and rest (Exodus 20:8-11). That’s a rhythm. The Israelites had certain seasons of the year for various festivals—another rhythm. Jesus would work hard caring for the needs of people but also took time to be alone with God. All of these are rhythms to life.
You will have a healthier view of your life when you see it through the lens of various rhythms. The rhythm of your day should consider when you have the most energy. If you are a morning person, plan to do some of your most important tasks in the morning rather than in the evening when you have less energy.
Rhythms are more than a day-to-day reality. To get the most benefit from the rhythms of life, you need to change your perspective from day-to-day to a much larger picture.
Zoom Out
What would happen if you saw your life through the lens of a full year instead of day-to-day? I have learned that it is far easier to get overwhelmed by life when you look at the demands of today compared to the big picture of an entire year.
Rhythms mean you always have something going on, but you do not have to simultaneously do everything at a maximum capacity. Sometimes, you are in a more focused season; other times, one part of your life may not take up as much time or energy.
For example, you may have a busy season in the ministry you are leading because you are planning a significant event. But that does not mean your entire year will be this way. You will want to avoid trying to do everything all the time. Eventually, your body will give out, and your leadership will stop being effective.
Start with Rest
The most essential rhythm God created for you is rest. Humanity’s first full day on earth was a day of rest, and then we worked (Genesis 1:26-2:3). Salvation is the story of entering God’s rest and then working out of that rest (Hebrews 4:1-11). I have become convinced that a huge part of why we feel out of balance is because we are out of rest. Rest has become an add-on to our lives whenever we can find the time.
When you zoom out, look at your overall calendar, and before you put anything else in it, ask yourself, “When do I plan to rest?”
Here are some rhythms of rest that I have found to be important:
- Daily: When will I have time to be still and be alone with God? When will I plan to sleep?
- Weekly: When will I rest in ways that are good for my soul and body? This can include attending church, spending time with family or friends, napping, or hobbies.
- Annually: What “festivals ” must I set aside during my year? These can include holidays, vacations, family birthdays, and seasons when the ministry I am leading will take a rest.
A healthy balance in life and leadership results from healthy choices in how we use our calendar.
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